"We were on a break" - Dr. Ross Geller
The five weeks after a break up are the most crucial as they mark the beginning of the other possible relations in your near future. Actually, the character called Ross in F.R.I.E.N.D.S, inspired me to write this one, coz he is the “guru” of various weird experiences in relationships. But, before I start ranting off, a small formality.
Disclaimer: The incidents mentioned below have no similarities with any person living or dead. If any such similarities emerge, they are purely coincidental. I don’t hold myself responsible for any awry result by following the mentioned practices. This article is not professing any course of action but is purely intended for pun and light fun reading.
Week 1:
Just sit as if some one has pressed your “mute” button and has tossed the remote into the sea. Even if people are screaming their lungs out, pretend you didn’t hear a word. Think as to why he/she left you. Stress hard on the grey cells…nay…don’t expect an answer, coz you don’t want an answer. Start interospection. “What went wrong? Anything wrong with me?” Eat as little as possible and refuse to take food. [midnight snacks are allowed].
Week 2:
Remove all doubts about self and blame the other person for all that went wrong in the relationship. Cry to yourselves. Cry all night under the blanket. Your red swollen eyes will tell all the tales your lips refuse to utter. Utter monosyllables and let out huge sighs. Start eating a bit. Don’t gorge on food, but have delicate samplings, else it would be hard to survive. In a social interaction, retain the ashen face and swollen eyes and seem lost and disinterested.
Week 3:
Stop all the crying. In a gathering, manage a smile – not your beaming best but a weak one. It shows how much the break up affected you. So, you win sympathy on that count and it also shows how strong you are. [Works great especially for guys, with the chicks sympathy in his pocket]
Week 4:
Ok..Wasted three weeks of life on something that was not meant to be at all…Colossal waste..Get back to normal life, meaning, hang out with friends, play your sport, work well and smart in office, start paying your overdue bills, in short get your life back. But, tread cautiously, ground not yet firm. Don’t….I repeat don’t start socializing this week itself. The heart is a weak entity and can’t sustain too many blows.
Week 5:
Start socializing now and when asked about the relationship, avoid tactfully with a joke or take up a spiritual attitude of “Jo hota hai acche ke liye hota hai”[Whatever happens is for the good], whichever suits your personality fine.
After these 5 weeks, your body’s metabolic activities being set right, you are ready for another relationship.
At no point in time, think of ending your life. You may not know, but your life is precious…
Disclaimer: The incidents mentioned below have no similarities with any person living or dead. If any such similarities emerge, they are purely coincidental. I don’t hold myself responsible for any awry result by following the mentioned practices. This article is not professing any course of action but is purely intended for pun and light fun reading.
Week 1:
Just sit as if some one has pressed your “mute” button and has tossed the remote into the sea. Even if people are screaming their lungs out, pretend you didn’t hear a word. Think as to why he/she left you. Stress hard on the grey cells…nay…don’t expect an answer, coz you don’t want an answer. Start interospection. “What went wrong? Anything wrong with me?” Eat as little as possible and refuse to take food. [midnight snacks are allowed].
Week 2:
Remove all doubts about self and blame the other person for all that went wrong in the relationship. Cry to yourselves. Cry all night under the blanket. Your red swollen eyes will tell all the tales your lips refuse to utter. Utter monosyllables and let out huge sighs. Start eating a bit. Don’t gorge on food, but have delicate samplings, else it would be hard to survive. In a social interaction, retain the ashen face and swollen eyes and seem lost and disinterested.
Week 3:
Stop all the crying. In a gathering, manage a smile – not your beaming best but a weak one. It shows how much the break up affected you. So, you win sympathy on that count and it also shows how strong you are. [Works great especially for guys, with the chicks sympathy in his pocket]
Week 4:
Ok..Wasted three weeks of life on something that was not meant to be at all…Colossal waste..Get back to normal life, meaning, hang out with friends, play your sport, work well and smart in office, start paying your overdue bills, in short get your life back. But, tread cautiously, ground not yet firm. Don’t….I repeat don’t start socializing this week itself. The heart is a weak entity and can’t sustain too many blows.
Week 5:
Start socializing now and when asked about the relationship, avoid tactfully with a joke or take up a spiritual attitude of “Jo hota hai acche ke liye hota hai”[Whatever happens is for the good], whichever suits your personality fine.
After these 5 weeks, your body’s metabolic activities being set right, you are ready for another relationship.
At no point in time, think of ending your life. You may not know, but your life is precious…
posted by megha | 11:44 PM
6 Comments:
are u trying to say something here??
are we allowed our assumptions?
Nice break up gyan on comeback ..
But 5 whole weeks!!!oolalla!! Was this a break up or a funeral???
Do you have any short term crash course..may be 5 days or something??..
I can't wait this long to show my 32 white pieces to the world!
Madmoiselle Sameera...I'm not trying to say anything in "specific" here.
"Decoche ton imaginare"..
But, yes you are allowed all the assumptions that ur mind wants to make. I can't assure you though that you are steering on the right path with ur "deductions".
Forgetful functor..Now I don't feel like addressing you by that name as u r not forgetful after all..You remember me!!! And you have bothered to come back and take a look at the debris, I had left behind.
If it was a funeral, it wud have been much easier as the dead don't resurface. There wud have been a finality to the statement drawn by Providence or Fate. But here the finality has to be brought about by the human mind/heart, which is a slightly longer process.
And you have *bothered* to come back and take a look at the debris, I had left behind.
Hey! I wud be better off not doing things which bother me..
I love reading you..and u wrote smthing after suchhh a long time.
How cud have i missed that?
May be me not good at all this big fundaes but i thought that ppl decide to break up as they think this is good for them....
Same can't be said about death.. which is decided by providence..
But may be yeah.. five weeks not that long..considering midnite snacks are allowed from second week itself :)
one comeback leads to another...
nice to see a Gyaanful post after a long time...
Well there is an episode of Chandler Bing breaking up...more fun...
But as FF ponited out 5 weeks??...too much...5 Hours...sounds fine..
Mathematically the number of hours spent in crying shud be inversly proportinal to the time wasted in breaking the relation...
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