"We were on a break" - Dr. Ross Geller

The five weeks after a break up are the most crucial as they mark the beginning of the other possible relations in your near future. Actually, the character called Ross in F.R.I.E.N.D.S, inspired me to write this one, coz he is the “guru” of various weird experiences in relationships. But, before I start ranting off, a small formality.

Disclaimer: The incidents mentioned below have no similarities with any person living or dead. If any such similarities emerge, they are purely coincidental. I don’t hold myself responsible for any awry result by following the mentioned practices. This article is not professing any course of action but is purely intended for pun and light fun reading.

Week 1:
Just sit as if some one has pressed your “mute” button and has tossed the remote into the sea. Even if people are screaming their lungs out, pretend you didn’t hear a word. Think as to why he/she left you. Stress hard on the grey cells…nay…don’t expect an answer, coz you don’t want an answer. Start interospection. “What went wrong? Anything wrong with me?” Eat as little as possible and refuse to take food. [midnight snacks are allowed].

Week 2:
Remove all doubts about self and blame the other person for all that went wrong in the relationship. Cry to yourselves. Cry all night under the blanket. Your red swollen eyes will tell all the tales your lips refuse to utter. Utter monosyllables and let out huge sighs. Start eating a bit. Don’t gorge on food, but have delicate samplings, else it would be hard to survive. In a social interaction, retain the ashen face and swollen eyes and seem lost and disinterested.

Week 3:
Stop all the crying. In a gathering, manage a smile – not your beaming best but a weak one. It shows how much the break up affected you. So, you win sympathy on that count and it also shows how strong you are. [Works great especially for guys, with the chicks sympathy in his pocket]

Week 4:
Ok..Wasted three weeks of life on something that was not meant to be at all…Colossal waste..Get back to normal life, meaning, hang out with friends, play your sport, work well and smart in office, start paying your overdue bills, in short get your life back. But, tread cautiously, ground not yet firm. Don’t….I repeat don’t start socializing this week itself. The heart is a weak entity and can’t sustain too many blows.

Week 5:
Start socializing now and when asked about the relationship, avoid tactfully with a joke or take up a spiritual attitude of “Jo hota hai acche ke liye hota hai”[Whatever happens is for the good], whichever suits your personality fine.

After these 5 weeks, your body’s metabolic activities being set right, you are ready for another relationship.

At no point in time, think of ending your life. You may not know, but your life is precious…

Read EXTRA, EXTRA : Laws dictate morals!!!!

The smell of the newsprint with a mug of simmering tea is a sacred morning ritual for many of us. Now-a-days, the newspaper carries along with it the stench of human deeds from around the world. Soaked in morbid thoughts, melancholy truths hit us hard in our face each morning. Today not being an exception.

"The Cabinet on Thursday cleared a Bill which provides for a jail term of three months and a fine of Rs 5,000/- for children who refuse to ensure a life of dignity to their elders. The Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Bill, piloted by social justice ministry, provides for an inexpensive and speedy system where old persons can petition the administration to seek maintenance from their progeny. "

What a pathetic state of affairs!! Do we need a law to dictate moral values to us? Do our aged parents have to knock the doors of the court to expect some sympathy, if not love from their progeny? What has made us so negligent, so callous, and so brutal? Time to put on our thinking caps and do a bit of introspection.

The hands which helped a child take his first steps are denied the support in the final hours of his life. Those eyes with love in them, are now devoid of tears too.

Probably, this is not happening in your life. But, it ain't an uncommon scenario as the old age home still flourish in population. Probably, we have not deserted our parents, but do we actually ever listen to them, spend time with them. All they ask for is a bit of love and a bit of attention.

I am not narrating another Bagbhan here. But, just scratching the surface of our conscience which, I think is relegated to some corner of our insides and decrepited with the dust of indifference and selfishness.

Such happenings should be a wake up call to the conscience....